I can't be bothered , Blogging now = writing to walls

Monday, November 27, 2006

Recently... i am under stress... dun0 for wat reas0n la... perhaps i just beiin lame.
sat... i went for prayiin... for my grandpa hu died a yr ago... i feel like cryiin...
i duno y ? a bit funny....
i duno any of my relative there... i was all alone.... feeling a bit drepressed? maybe a bit lonely....
i saw my ''him'' ther oso.... my mum had told mii tat he had almost forget abt the prayiin for grandpa...
damn him....
He look veri skiinny now... look...haiz....
i dun wish to see him anymore....
Alway i thought tat.. he no one to mii... just a stranger.... perhaps... is more distance than a stranger
yet i still canot change the fact tat he is my father , my BIOLOGICAL father.....
oh god ... can anyone save mii... i dunwish to think of him anymore... i am so tired...
i dun wana cry and cry for him anymore....
wat on earth i had done in my past life tat tis life i have such a irresponsible father...
i hate him... i hate life... i wish tat i was not born in the 1st place...
wat i should do...
there are a lots of rumours abt him and some other china women...
i dunwana hear...

tat dae... he wana to take a foto wit mii.... i felt so digustin....
i hate him... i wan shout it out loud tat i dun hav such a father but i cant
heaven know tat when he remember tat he has a daughter...
perhaps he never remember until tis sat... he saw mii...
ironic... hahass.... y laugh can be bitter... i duno....

i feel like cryiin everytime i think of him... but i cant...
i dunwan other to worry abt mii...
dunwish to make moiiself even worst...
dunwish to think of him....
dunwish to accept the fact tat he is my father....
i really duno wat to do.... pls anyone hlp mii...

ya... many ppl sae i am independent....
since young i can take care of myself
i know how to plan my things...
my mum like to leave mii alone in my hse yet i not afraid of beiin alone
not afraid of dark..
is not tat i really like ... is i dunwan make anyone to worry abt mii
i oso will scare... oso will ... just like other children...
they have their father and mother beside them.... but can i... NO

i am afraid of beiing hurt .... real afraid...
i am tired...
i am tired...

i dreamt about you and me at 9:15 AM.

Although you're not with me,
No one could ever replace you.

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Witch
Sweet 18
23 October 1991; Scorpio
Republic Poly ; DHHM
EMO

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Wishlist

> Get diploma cert soon

> New shoes

> New Bag

> New clothes

> New Skinny

> Get rich

> go overseas

> Someone who care for miie

> Flowers and bears

> watch movies every week

Exits