Thursday, November 30, 2006
tis few daes.... gettin no where better.... feelin so empty....keepiin myself real bz by workiin......there storm ahead of mii....makiin my journey of life at tis moment....hard to travel......all the black clouds and darkNess make mii unclear of moii future....rain... make mii...cry....feeliin so weak and hopeless....lightning make mii.... scare and just wana to escape frm nowhere....just wana breakfree....dun0 frm wat... perhaps the past...perhaps the family which not bel0ng to mii in the 1st place....perhaps myself....perhaps every0ne aound mii...i dun0...i have no future...there r frenz hu care for mii i n0e...yet n0t the same....real hope tat ther can pull mii bck frm hell...hope so....i love them...god know.....god bless them....
i dreamt about you and me at 8:35 AM.
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Last nite i had a quarrel with moii stepfather... damn 1 prob haven finish another prob appear....wtfheaven is playiin a fool of mii....my stepfather owae tend to scold mii to go bck to my father thereeven n0e i wonthe just there to hurt mii....i noe there no one in the world wan mii...i am just a unwanted child....i knew i am a child hu r not suppose to belong in tis world... i knew it...evey adult just wana push mii to each other....AM I REALLY SO WORTHLESS!yap... perhaps.....The EARth will continue to spin....THE time continue to run....even the world is without mii.....i haviin great headach.....2dae... i woke up quite late....to avoid seein my stepfathergoiin to library...then so numb in my heart....feelin so tiredjust happen to remember tat there still frenz oso gt boro bks...wana to remind cry....not sure she gt boro bks a notjust wana to remind her... yet i saw so hot temper reply tat she din boro bks...is ok is ok... i told moiiself...then she reply is her frenz send de... hahas...hahas.... well is none of my business on wat she sent...i give up....nothing is ever important to mii now.....i so tired...i thinkiin of cutin myself to end my life since it is so meaningless....yet i am not so brave...so tat is just a minor cut on my hand.... which not enough to cost my life... haha...yap... laughter is bitter....after g0iin to the library.... i dunwana to go hm so soon... i was wanderiin around .....until i was cryiin alone at the roadside... i duno...hahas....so hopeless is mii....everythin i kept so long ....i wana breakfree of the past...yet i can0t chang any factual things tat had past....haha...darkness is ahead of mii...yet i have no choice but to move forward....
i dreamt about you and me at 4:15 AM.
Monday, November 27, 2006
Recently... i am under stress... dun0 for wat reas0n la... perhaps i just beiin lame.sat... i went for prayiin... for my grandpa hu died a yr ago... i feel like cryiin...i duno y ? a bit funny....i duno any of my relative there... i was all alone.... feeling a bit drepressed? maybe a bit lonely....i saw my ''him'' ther oso.... my mum had told mii tat he had almost forget abt the prayiin for grandpa...damn him....He look veri skiinny now... look...haiz....i dun wish to see him anymore....Alway i thought tat.. he no one to mii... just a stranger.... perhaps... is more distance than a strangeryet i still canot change the fact tat he is my father , my BIOLOGICAL father.....oh god ... can anyone save mii... i dunwish to think of him anymore... i am so tired...i dun wana cry and cry for him anymore....wat on earth i had done in my past life tat tis life i have such a irresponsible father...i hate him... i hate life... i wish tat i was not born in the 1st place...wat i should do...there are a lots of rumours abt him and some other china women...i dunwana hear...tat dae... he wana to take a foto wit mii.... i felt so digustin....i hate him... i wan shout it out loud tat i dun hav such a father but i cantheaven know tat when he remember tat he has a daughter...perhaps he never remember until tis sat... he saw mii...ironic... hahass.... y laugh can be bitter... i duno....i feel like cryiin everytime i think of him... but i cant...i dunwan other to worry abt mii...dunwish to make moiiself even worst...dunwish to think of him....dunwish to accept the fact tat he is my father....i really duno wat to do.... pls anyone hlp mii...ya... many ppl sae i am independent.... since young i can take care of myself i know how to plan my things...my mum like to leave mii alone in my hse yet i not afraid of beiin alonenot afraid of dark..is not tat i really like ... is i dunwan make anyone to worry abt miii oso will scare... oso will ... just like other children...they have their father and mother beside them.... but can i... NOi am afraid of beiing hurt .... real afraid...i am tired...i am tired...
i dreamt about you and me at 9:15 AM.
Friday, November 24, 2006
haha.... too l0ng nv bl0g le... nag by hz siia... btw she BROKE moii fragile heart oh god... save mii..... haizytr she let mii see her ''ming'' is **** de lo and ********** .... haha... can0t be tooooo straight forward....i 2dae slept 18h sia... siian... hahatis few daes... real bz....bz for project , angklung , SLACKIIN DREAMIINsiian...... lalala....btw... s0ri h0ney... i wanted to fetch u de.... hu n0e i overslept haiz.....i n0w veri hngry sia... lazy to buy food... =.=
i dreamt about you and me at 4:06 AM.
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Sumtiimee i tend to freak 0ut verii easy ...dunno y....owae get so moody.... a bit sad....i read a book abt a gal hu keep thinkiin of the past... in the end .... makiin her life miserablesometiime i think wat izzit abt PAST?PAST is sumtiin tat have alreadi happened....easiily forget? perhaps sumtiime.....yet the part which ppl reali wana forget simply canot get of their minds.... Often i was thinkiin abt if One daE i could lose moii memory... then tat will be good....maybe tat time i will be sad tat i forget abt the happi tiimee i have spent....i will hat3 moiiself tat y i even canot remember anyOne and even moiiself....maybe i will angry which moiiself for makiin those ppl hu lOve mii to be sad and worryiin for mii... maybe.... maybe...Yet i still wana to forget eveythiin.... regardless it could be happy or sad....LiFE is hard and miserable to mii.....i like fantasy.... i like dream.... yet i know all wont happenI wrotE story abt miracle.....i wish it will reali happen yet is funny tat i nv believe in it...a bit contradiictiin moiiself... haiz.....LIFE is hopless to mii.... i wana leave everything to FATE......there is a qus tat i see recently :IF THERE IS ONE DAY U CAN CHOOSE SOMEONE TO BE DISAPPEAR IN THIS WORLD , WHO U WANA CHOSE?1. THE PERSON U HATE2. THE PERSON U LOVE3.EVEYONE IN THE WORLD4.THE PERSON HU LOVE U5.THE PERSON HU HATE U6.YOURSELFanyone wana answer the qus?...i chose 6....i maybe will hate moiiself for mii timid and wana escape....frm tis world...but if tat reali happen , i wont regret....The most good thing i learn frm past is wat is done canot be undone... therefore.... i wont do sumthiing tat i will regret... but i think i should put in anOther wae..... i wont regret anythiin i have d0ne as it was moii own choice even if it hurt....PAIN make ppl feel numb....dun even think of it if r hurt one dayif u wana cry... think of the bright side....dun ever make urself used to the feelin of beiin hurt....or u soon find out tat ur life is hell ....LIFE is short , everyone experienced sad , happy , anger.No matter wat ,treasure NOw , better than keep think of the past even though is all happy memeory as memeory is somethin tat will fade in mind.....At the same tiime , dun pinned too much hope in future... hu noe perhaps one day ur life will totally change? maybe u will die in any second (touchwood) .u canot control past nor futurn therefore N0w is the time u should be thinkiin of.....world of moii dream... i am tired to continue in this long journey of searchiin for u , a person hu does not belong to any place....wana give up... there no mircale.....just wana to forget abt eveythin and start a new life...
i dreamt about you and me at 11:44 PM.
hahasl0ng tiimee nv update le.....i just came bck frm AnGklUng camp damn tired............wana slp so0n......hahasiiandunno wat to writepost for fun niatell u all a secert.....VInCEnt moii 4th la0 g0ng hhahaworld of moii dream.... star shine on u but i just could not see ur face clearly....u r sum1 i will nv meet yet i miss u....
i dreamt about you and me at 11:26 PM.
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
wa.... my mouse spoilt le so ytr din blog haiz... but i fix it le... hahas... i so pro siia... actually i broke it into half le... sobb. sobb. btw it still can be use la.... hahs....yesterday i went to watch death note with la0 g0ng hahas..... nice but the endiin =.=''' so... SUDDEN.... then wat sayiin must see part 2...haiz.... kira is a real genius sia.... he so cool ... he plan the death of his gf.... so wonderfully ... i like it meh but la0 g0ng obviously wana kill kira.... he so upset meh... haiz... relax.... relax.....i like L.... he damn cute ..... KAWAII.....he look so innocent... action all so childish.... but he oso damn clever.... i can't stop to think of him.... haha.....many ppl now keep askiin wat if i oso have a death note... wat will i write.... the answer is nth... haha... i dun think i will have a day whereby i will hate someone until i wish him dead.... too extreme... i dun like.... whereas KiRA... i dun think he really wana kill ppl becos they are bad.... his act is just to satify his own sense of sucess.... now he already... started to treat everything as a game.... siianz.... tis kind of ppl ...i dun really like .i like tat part when the death god keep askiin for APPLE... hahas.... so funny....he oso another cute one lol....actually i was thinkiin wat is most evil in tis world... after tis movie... i think tat... is human himself....world of moii dream.....will there be a day...i can really free frm worries and troubles....hope tat... one day when i fell asleep... i will haven wake up... never
i dreamt about you and me at 2:53 AM.
Sunday, November 05, 2006
tis few daes damnn moody so din blog...world of moii dream... siting alone at somewhere i saw shooting stars... i made a wish.... yet is a wish tat would nv come true....
i dreamt about you and me at 5:40 AM.
Thursday, November 02, 2006
Hahas... 2dae 2nd blog le... just now... i went to hawker to eat wit xiia0 guii... then in the end i saw cry, her bf and bao yu , her bf.... apparently... mii and xiia0 guii 2big light bulbs la... cos they haviin double dates .... hahas.... then cry bf weriin the sama colour shirt wit xiia0 guii... cry sama wit bao yu.... i sama wit bao yu bf... kind of funny.... then the sama colour ppl tok to each other ...oli mii and bao yu bf nv tok... tis show tat purple is bad for chat... hahas... is verii qiao de... xiiao gui actually know hu cry bf... hahas.... then they wana xchange no. THE FUNNIEST THING COME.... COS CRY PUT HER BF NICK AS DARLING IN PHONE
THEN XIIAO GUII DUNO HER BF NAMEXIIAO GUII THEN ASK....UR NAME IS DARLING AHlol... IMAGINE A GUY CALIIN OTHER PPL BF DARLING>>> WA
SO WRONG!!!!
MII AND BAO YU LAUGH UNTIL LIKE HELL...
Abt the eariler blog... hahas just wana say i know hu cry bf le.... yoz....
ps: bao yu dun think tooooo much k.... cry is just lame... i am innocent....
world of moii dream........ hope to fly high and free but sumthing stoppin mii....
i dreamt about you and me at 7:00 AM.
yoz... i 2dae actually wana meet cry at 10am to make moii IC de... but hahas... i slept at 6am then... overslept until 1pm... hahas.... then i went to the place wit cry and meet sharon... then i took moii photo and after a long time .... I REALISED TAT I DIN BRIING MOII BIRTH CERT.... siian... so 2moro have to go again....
We then went to ps... i eat KFC....gt ppl wana mii buy chicky card =.= ya i still young.... i rather buy from moii beloved hz... (rather nia... not reali buy... hz dun come and find mii ) then went to play percusion master a while.... then sharon waste my $1 cos she failed the 1st stage of a game ... wala0 a.... then she went hm verii fast ... thanks to xiia0 guii..... cos shar dad tot tat xiia0 guii is shar bf.... then blah blah ... disallow her to go out too late... hahas... pathetic shar....we saw cry bf... erm... i duno wat to say cos.... hahas... in fact i din even noe which one is her bf hahas.....
then i went to chinatown alone to buy books... lol... then i went to vivo city to window shoppin... damn the place too big ... my leg so suan.....actually i wanted to watch a movie but oli gt a show at 9pm le.... so i din watch ... siian....
then i sit at a place near the riverside ba... shld be la.... so romantic the place but i am alone... hahas..... so many couple ther then i sososo XTRA.... lol....i sat there for a long time ... frm evening til night... all dark...thinkiin of many things....
Although ppl often think tat... shoppin alone ... goiin out alone is veri lonely and sad but i think in tis way alone better than being left out in a group.... gt ppl wit u but no ppl wana accompany u... tat feeling more worst...then dunwan to go home too fast ... i walk to the bus interchange... to take bus home... a bit scary... so late.... then the bus... oli me alone!! wa.... siian....lol
k la... nth to rite le.....
world of moiii dreamz.....
yesterdae i gt a dream..... i met a guy hu love to swim.... he can even breath in water... hahas... fantasy sia.....sumthing like mermaid.....blah~ blah~
dreams are meant for ppl to do things tat they won do in real life..... it hlp to improve ppl creative..... hahas.... as for mii... dreams are things tat i cherish much.... cos... i reali wana to escape frm real life.... life is bitter.....
i hate moiiself.....
world of moii dreams... will i ever be free one day... without any worries and troubles....no more sadness and happiness.... i just wana peace....
i dreamt about you and me at 4:56 AM.
