fuck.... if u all think tears so easily control then dunwan even let mii see u cry...ya... it seem tat u all bully mii so when i wana go hm y still folo?u think i like cryin izzit?haven u ever seen mii cry until lidat...cb...u think a person who breakdown still can think calmly meh?all i think was can u all just leave mii alone...of c0s cal u all go away ma....cheryl tat time cry oso lidat...cant control herself....then y nobody say her ?yayaya... is all my fault....FINE... i dunwan quarral... u happy or nt... tat it...i rather choose other than u ?PLS lol.... i where the hell did tat...even when u haven conflict with other...did i ps u ?i just stay neutral but neither i supported other lol....yayaya.. u treat mii as frenz....the lowest rank de...now him is ur priority... even in ur frenz test..he win ur family...then often cal mii out but seem tat u goiin out with ur hp nt mii....din u once think u r alone c0s nobody true to u....lolu say i always keep my thoughts nv tel u...k then tel mii.... then who the hell i really choose?or who the hell who i tell secerts to?fine... u nt the closest to mii neither am i closest to u...we r just normal higher chinese cls mate... happy?the further our distance...the lesser chance of quarrel....u know mii for yrs... still dun understand my temper...i guess....tat it...tis post may irritate u...fine just sat what u wana say...n we r done...still frenz... hc clsmate... i n0e de...w0rld of my dreams....my fault... my fault... my fault...
i dreamt about you and me at 1:53 AM.
ytd... m0rniin went physic cls...sadly dun understand much again...afternoon went with cleve, jeff n his gf watch harry potter at marina squareit was kinda nice n excitin...cleve is kind soul... mii gt free movie..free popcorn n free lunch..hahs, he keep complanin tat his wallet gt a hole le...then...supposin afterthat..i be meetiin yt...n en...they send mii sms at 6+ tat they reachiin soon...n tat time cleve they left le bec0s of tution...i was there waitin alone...i tot they be fast...mii tat time really veri tired liia0s.but at 7+ a sms told mii tat they still at h0men cal mii stay with cleve they all...is like wth....i gt tell them...cleve gt tution LOL...it seem tat they nv listen to what i have said...they made mii wait so long for hours...it made mii think of my bias mum....tat time when i gt my salary...by w0rkiin at bki wan treat her to a movie....i went to bugis straight after i off frm w0rk at ppi waited at the fountain there like FOOL...then hours lata.. i called hm... she was at h0me..sayiin tat she did go to bugis but too earlythen my bro wana go home so they went home...tat time... i felt so unwnted...n left out... i cried in bugis..tis time the same...i cried again...i tired to control it but i cantthen when they 2 came i cant do anythiin but cry...they ate dinner t mac...i heard crystal poh en en say> i am siia0s...>i cry until like they owe mii somethin>i am out of love
N blah blah blah...YA...CRYSTAL POH EN EN... I AM SIIAOS...U DIN OWE MII SOMETHIN...I AM OUT OF LOVE...NT HAPPY WITH MII JUST SAY LA..Y MAKE SUCH GUESS..MAKE U LOSE FACE IZZIT... THEN Y I WANA GO HM U STILL FOLO....CB...EVERYONE GT EMOTIONAL BREAKDOWN...I AM A HUMAN OSO....U ALWAYS CRY...FOR EG. MONKEY DIN WAIT FOR UU CRY IN ANGKLUNG RM... DID I SAY ANYTHIN?U R THE PERSON WHO CLOSEST TO MII N YET I SOMEHOW REALLYFEEL THAT U R SO FAR AWAY...WE DUN UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER....i dun wish to say anythin le...i am tired.... dun wan a war to happen...world of my dream...i hate hoplessly waitin...it make mii think of my childhood... it really veri unpleasant...
i dreamt about you and me at 10:38 PM.
Every thing the world is changin....Everyday... Every hour... Every min n Every secDuno since when...i start to learn what is tear... what is sadness... numb... n pain...Duno since when....i lost my happiness.... no longer a gal who can be contended by just haviin a tv to watch...Duno y...I seem to tears veri often.... n think so much until i cant take t anymore....Duno y...i seem to be automatically mark a line btw mii n the ppl around mii....Perhaps.....Is time for mii to grow up....Perhaps....is time for mii to put down the PASTperhaps...is time for mii accept somemone to walk into my heart....perhaps...i am just scare of being hurt.................I dun hav much frenz in pri sch... nor in sec ...frenz mean those u really can talk with... n whenever u wana go out u will cal them..A person can have 1000 over frenz in a life but...is useless if he doesnt have 1 frenz true to himSometime is really hard to find out who is the best to u...is ok to mii... c0s i know.... the world is unfair... but ther alway another door open for u...when the door u alway use is closed...Sometimes is really hurt to be a lot of war btw frenz n perhaps.. mii oso involved...I choose to ignore...to stop myself being hurt... or maybe to stop myself frm hurtin others...I found myself being veri addicited to the chats in net...n abt makiin frenz in nets.... such as maple...kiddy say....i am escapiin frm my real life .........i rather trust stranger than somemone i kn0w....well...maybe is true...actually i felt insecure in REAL life....i eveytime feel tat everyone is leavin mii at any times....just like many ppl say... there is no such thing as foreva...K let say abt relationship....tis is what many ppl KEEP askiin mii....I kn0w is nt matter abt looks or anything...but i still duno what mean by liking a person...i nv had b4....n i hate tat feelin when a person who i dun really know... being close to mii...i oso hate the feeling when... a feeling of frenz suddenly change...i wish everyone can be just my friend...frenz can be long long time to be together...but as what i can see at tis age....relationship doesnt last...n couple beome total stranger..... tat TRUE...i rather have my frenz...n nth have ever change it...i am afraid of losiin any frenz...whereas... in net relationship...tat is worst... i dun believe tat the other party will be true to mii...even they can be as caring as ther appear to be....but overall ... I DUN BELIEVE MYSELF THAT I CAN CONTRIBUTE IN ANY RELATIONSHIP... as i know the more feeling i put in... the greater i fall in the end...i can actually to choose to just play play....it seem like just a gamebut i know there still be somemone being hurt... haiz...i still young so i dunwana think anymore...my frenz... i dun wish to change current situation with u all... world of my dream....today ... i have nth to write here... just wana say...I LOVE ALL MY FRENZ...
i dreamt about you and me at 1:13 AM.
Recently i am sick .... cough + flu + fever....slp in cls almost everyday....went sch bec0s gt science prac... haiz...i used 20 packets of tissues in 2 days ....scary dar (thewherethe aka joey tang ) wana drag mii to HOSPITAL ?!!I WANA GO OUT SOBB BUT CANT ... C0S STILL SICK SIIAtoday gt physic... early in m0rnin... wake..then rain...siian... heng ! si xue, jac , zin zin... hlp miiaftertat we went macjac so funny lol...she !st tiimee eat mac breakfast....she order hot cake...see h0w she eat is OMGbig mouth de... like gobble up all the hot cakes...so scary.. wahaha...cant say too much... she will chop mii =pthen when i go hm...i slp until 7....dun0 y after i sick... i am so tired...oya... h0ney... nt i dunwan go out with u...just tat i feel sick... n no moody at all...i am tired.. if u tthink i ps u...then i no c0mment lol...world of my dream.....there is 1 s0ng which i once love it...the lyric says...Flames to dust Lovers to friendsy do all good things come to an end...I wonder.... if there is a forever such w0rd?ppl always say foreva love u... foreva frenz...but someh0w... is meaningless to mii...as it seem like all fake....haiz..
i dreamt about you and me at 3:58 AM.